Image: Gage Skidmore
I didn’t watch the GOP debate on Thursday night because I only vote for candidates who affirm the rights of women to retain complete bodily autonomy, up to and including the right to terminate a pregnancy. I figured if any of the dudes on the stage at the big debate said that, my inbox would blow up with the news and I could reconsider my entire take on the Republican party at my leisure.
That didn’t happen, but we did learn something really, really cool about Senator Marco Rubio from Florida. He can READ MINDS! Well, he can at least read President Obama’s mind.
See, Senator Rubio said that President Obama is more interested in funding Planned Parenthood than the US military. How cool is it that Senator Rubio knows that? I never would have picked up on that fact, considering that the latest budget for the US Department of Defense is $522 billion dollars, and the most recent number I could find for federal funding for Planned Parenthood is $528 million.
Possibly Senator Rubio thinks 528 is more than 522, which would be true if millions and billions weren’t different.
Anyway, given the tenfold discrepancy in funding that favors the Pentagon over pap smears, it would be hard to say anyone in the government would rather fund Planned Parenthood over the US military unless one were possessed of mind-reading power to hear the president thinking “Man, I’m signing this giant-ass spending bill that Congress sent me, but I’m not enjoying it because I hate the troops so very, very much.”
I’ve gotta say, mind-magic like this would be an exciting addition to the scope of presidential powers. Imagine being able to negotiate treaties with, say, Kim Jong Un and being able to know what he’s really thinking! Senator Rubio the Mind-Reader would be the most effective president EVAH!
Well, he would be if he had ever showed the slightest interest in funding Planned Parenthood at all. So far, though, he’s just been part of the chorus of guys calling for women’s health to fall onto the scrap heap of history. So sorry, Senator Psychic. You still don’t get my vote.
